The Troll and The Fan
by mother-zombie
Summary: Sarah Nac, a major Uncle Grandpa fan, goes on a quest for some juicy information to update her website with. She finds something else instead... perhaps some love?


Nac's seen every single episode of Uncle Grandpa at least 20 times. She's the show's biggest fan. She runs a website and a blog for it, and she makes sure to update it and organize it every single day. It's her biggest passion. So you can imagine her curiosity after seeing the 'Internet Troll' episode. Uncle Grandpa brought her much joy and happiness, and she couldn't imagine how the antagonist, Cheesepuff Mike, could hate on that wonderful old man. Sometimes she wondered if it was just an actor, but she remembered that Uncle Grandpa's show was set to real time, despite how wacky it was. She knows this not only because of her intensive research, but because friends and peers of hers have been visited by Uncle Grandpa and were on the show. She was happy for them but jealous at the same time that Uncle Grandpa hasn't visited her yet.

One night, after finishing some work on her website, she got up to make herself something to eat in the kitchen. She eagerly opened the fridge before sighing. Of course the fridge was packed with food, but nothing she really wanted to eat. She opened the freezer and ran into the same dilemma. Sighing heavily, she closed the doors and opened her cabinets. She picked out a can of Spaghettios, which she immediately opened and poured into a pot to heat up. As she stirred her food with one hand, she played around with her phone in her other. She flicked through her contacts before smiling. She knew what she would do after heating up her food. She was planning something, but she needed reassurance and some assistance.

After her food was ready, she put it in a bowl and sat down at the kitchen table, immediately calling Austin as she sat down. Austin was one of her good friends who was lucky enough to be on the Uncle Grandpa show. Uncle Grandpa helped him with his clumsiness, and she has seen the difference ever since. He's still a bit clutzy, but he doesn't beat himself up about failing at tasks anymore. He seems a little more relaxed and has been able to successfully clean his room or remember to turn in his homework on time. She tapped her fingers on the table impatiently as she waited for Austin to pick up.

"Hello?" Austin's voice finally sounded on her phone.

"Hey! What's up! It's me, Nac!" Nac greeted him excitedly.

"Hi, Nac! I'm doing okay, just trying to do my homework. How about you?" Austin asked her.

"Pretty good, pretty good" Nac told him, grinning down at her bowl of Spaghettios. "So, uh, do you have a minute to talk? I've been thinking about something, and I just want your opinion."

"Sure, what is it?" Austin was eager to lend an ear to her. He always was, even if it was about Uncle Grandpa. Most people would get annoyed with her talking about Uncle Grandpa all the time, but not Austin. Austin was always happy to listen to her ramblings, theories, and fangirl-ery.

"Well, I was thinking about the Internet Troll episode of Uncle Grandpa," she began. "and I was thinking, like, is he a real thing? If so, I'd love to meet him and ask him stuff. It boggles my mind how someone could be so mean to their Uncle Grandpa like that! He's so nice and awesome, I just don't understand!"

"Well, everything in the show happens in real time," Austin told her. "and his house is literally a few blocks away from mine-" he didn't even get a chance to finish talking.

"IT IS?!" she gasped and slapped her hand on her cheek. "How much homework do you have left?"

"Well, I will probably be finished in 10 minutes-" he began, but was immediately interrupted by an excited Nac.

"Oh good! I'll be over your house by then!" she told him, immediately hanging up to go get ready.

She gulped down her food before putting an all black outfit on. She didn't want people to see her potentially breaking into someone's house and raise alarm. She only wanted to ask questions, nothing more. She nearly sprinted to Austin's house before knocking on his window. He immediately came over and opened the window.

"Nac! My parents don't allow me out this late!" he told her.

"We'll be out for just a little bit! I want to meet the troll and ask him a couple questions!" she told him.

"But Nac, it could be dangerous. He was really mean in that episode! What if he's in that house and he tries to hurt you?" Austin asked, concern in his voice.

"I'll kick him in the balls and run, I'll be fine!" she reassured. "Now, c'mon!" she motioned for him to follow her.

"Hang on." Austin told her before disappearing into his room. He came out a moment later with a black sweater on. "All right, let's go."

Austin swung his legs over his window sill before sliding off onto the grass, accidentally scraping his back against the side of the house.

"Ouch!" he rubbed his lower back.

Nac let him tend to his minor injury before taking his hand and briskly walking down the street with him. Nac tried to look as casual as possible while also moving as quickly as possible. She was so eager to meet the troll. This would help her understand how people could hate their Uncle Grandpa and help her update her website with exclusive information.

Finally, they were in front of the troll's house. Uncle Grandpa was able to get to his house through cyber space, but it did exist in the real world, like she thought it would. The house was a little creepy to look at, especially at night. It didn't look like anyone really lived in the house, but the grass was perfectly and neatly cut with a freshly filled bird bath and a nicely painted mail box, which was flooded with mail.

"Let's go to the back, that's where that fight in the episode took place, there should still be a hole in the back of the house from it." she told him as she motioned him to follow.

Austin gulped and reluctantly followed her. She carefully moved to the back, making sure there was no security that would set off any alarms. Luckily, there was no alarm system and she was able to successfully venture into the back with Austin and discover the hole in the house that was exactly where she thought it would be.

"Sweet! Let's go in!" Nac exclaimed.

"N-No, I don't wanna go in! I'm scared!" Austin quivered as he hugged himself.

"C'mon Austin! It'll be fun!" Nac nudged him.

"I'll just stay on guard out here for you and wait for you to finish your interview with the troll. He was really scary in that episode, I really don't want to meet him." Austin insisted.

"So you're gonna make me go in there alone?" Nac pouted.

"I'm sorry, Nac. I'll be right out here and if I hear anything alarming I'll go get help." he reassured her.

"Alright." Nac sighed as she turned to the house. She felt a bit nervous herself, but her love for Uncle Grandpa and her thirst for every drop of trivia and knowledge about his show drove her to push forward and go inside.

Once inside, she looked around the room. It was pretty empty, just like in the episode. The only thing in the room was a computer table with a laptop on it, a framed picture of a cheese puff, and a framed picture of a rocket ship. She did a double take on the framed cheese puff. Of course, she noticed it when she watched the episode, but it just seemed more ridiculous to her seeing it in person. She giggled.

"This guy is a nerd!" she laughed, but her laughter faded when she saw him standing in the corner of the room.

She let out a small yelp and jumped back, nearly falling over. It took her a bit to realize he wasn't actually moving. She cautiously approached him and realized he was made of stone. Of course she remembered in the episode that Uncle Grandpa turned him to stone by exposing him to the internet, but she figured he'd be out of his rock tomb by now. She observed him, using the light from her phone to get a better look.

He sure was an ugly troll. His nose was huge and phallic like, his hair was wild and stuck out everywhere, and his teeth were sharp. Looking at him for a bit, though, she began to feel sympathy for him.

"Poor guy" she whispered as she lightly pet his giant nose. He was an Uncle Grandpa hater, but he didn't deserve to be a statue. Besides, he was too ugly to be a statue. The only place he belonged as a statue was a haunted house.

"How am I going to ask him questions if he is stone" she tapped her chin, thinking out loud.

That's when she looked over at the computer. She immediately came up with an idea as she ran over to it and sat down. There was a bowl of cheese puffs next to the laptop, which she accidentally almost touched. Luckily she caught it before she touched the stale snack that was probably sitting there for a while. She opened up the laptop and booted it up. Fortunately for her, his laptop didn't ask for any passwords. In fact, it went right to the page he was last on, and that was the video Uncle Grandpa uploaded for him called "Hot Dog Walk 2". She looked at the ratings and the comments on the video, and was not surprised by all the dislikes and comments calling him out for being a mean asshole to Uncle Grandpa. She even saw her own comment on it, that said "You're an asshole!". She immediately felt bad for her comment, even though she felt it was justified.

After scrolling for a bit, she went over to the top left corner of the screen to make sure he was still logged into his account, and sure enough he was. She clicked on his channel, and there was really nothing on it except for Hot Dog Walk 2. She nodded, knowing what she had to do. If exposing a troll to the internet turned them to stone, then taking away his exposure will free him. She went over to the video and clicked the delete button. As soon as she did, she looked over at the troll. He was still encompassed by his rocky tomb.

She sighed and turned back to the laptop. "Well, if I can't get answers from him, maybe I can just take a look at his accounts."

She clicked on his browser history and went through the list. She was not surprised at what she saw. Most of it were forums that he would troll on, but some of it was unsurprisingly porn. She laughed as she scrolled through the history. 'He must have been really lonely' she thought.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and she jumped and let out a yelp, literally falling out of her chair. She looked up and saw a boy about her age. He was fat with greasy hair, a triangular nose, glasses, and cheese puff dust all over his shirt.

"Y-You're-" Nac began, but she couldn't get the words out. She was too stunned that her plan actually worked to formulate a sentence.

"What are you doing in my house?" he asked her sternly, crossing his arms.

"I j-just-" Nac kept stuttering, realizing now that maybe this was a mistake. What if he does try to hurt her? What then? She was too scared to do anything, and by the time Austin could get help he'd probably had already killed her or worse.

"Well?" he asked her, getting closer to her.

"I took away your internet exposure" she finally sputtered out, hoping that maybe that would be the right thing.

"You did?" he looked stunned as he dropped his arms and gave her a look of disbelief.

"Y-Yes. I deleted the Hot Dog Walk video. I'm sorry for touching your computer, but I-" she explained before he interrupted her.

He didn't say anything to interrupt her, he just picked her up and stared at her. She gulped and tried not to look into his eyes.

"Please don't hurt me" she muttered.

"Hurt you? Cheezus! You deserve free internet for the rest of your life! I can't thank you enough!" he pulled her into a hug. "I was going crazy in that stone coating! I hate internet exposure! And it takes such a long time to get someone like you to come along and take away that exposure! I usually have to wait for the site itself to delete it."

She reluctantly hugged him back. "Oh uh, you're welcome, but uhm-"

He pulled her out of the hug to let her talk. "Yes?"

"Well I was hoping you could answer a couple of questions of mine." she smiled weakly.

"Sure, but I'd like to know your name first." he nodded.

"Oh, I'm Sarah Nac, I-" she began to tell him happily before he interrupted her rather angrily.

"wHAT?" he dropped her. "YOU?!"

Nac let out a loud squeak as she fell on the ground.

He smiled again. "You're even better in person. HA!"

"Y-You know me?" her eyes widened.

"Of course, we interacted nearly every day before Uncle Grandpa showed up and turned me to stone!" he laughed. "You're an even bigger weenie in person!"

"Hey!" Nac pouted. "I'm not a weenie!"

"Yeah you are! You're so easy to rile up! HA!" he mocked her.

"It's not nice to just piss people off!" she hissed.

"I'm a TROLL! Specifically an INTERNET TROLL! It's what I do!" he told her.

"So what was your username? I don't remember talking to your Cheesepuff Mike handle." she asked.

"I have all kinds of handles. IHateUncleGrandpa21, UncleGrandpaSuxXOXO, ITrollU69, I could go on!" he laughed.

"Those were all you!" she gasped.

"Eeyup" he gave her a playful grin.

"But why? Why do you hate Uncle Grandpa so much?" she asked.

"I didn't at the time. I hate him now because he turned me to stone like an asshole, but at the time I didn't care. I just did what I normally did. It wasn't a big deal, but you fell for it every time! You would angrily write me rants and block me and vague blog about me. It was GREAT!" he explained, giggling the entire time.

"But why do you like to see me upset?" she frowned.

"I mostly just like reading your replies. They're interesting, that's why I kept going after you and you made it so easy. But I'm glad you did, most people I troll are boring. They make stupid arguments on how they aren't a butthurt piss baby. But you? You would explain in detail your passion for Uncle Grandpa, every single time. You carefully constructed essays about your beloved Uncle Grandpa, and even though I'd give you a tl;dr response, I actually did read them. And I loved reading them. It's interesting how a human could be that passionate for something." he explained to her, almost gushing, but she couldn't really tell. Actually, she really couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"R-Really?" she blushed.

"Oh yeah. And I'm being totally honest right now. No trolling or anything." he sat down in his chair. "I mean, this would have to be 100% real anyways, I gain nothing from trolling in person. Trolling is only relevant when it's anonymous."

"I-I don't know what to say." she bit her lip as she stared up at him.

"That you're grossed out a fat MRA looking dude is admiring your passions?" he raised an eyebrow, still smirking at her.

"N-No. I didn't say that." she shook her head.

"Ah, but you probably want to. My human disguise looks like a stereotype of the type of people you can't stand." he leaned back in his chair. "By the way, I visit your blog too. Interesting stuff. You're a passionate being and I really admire that. Passionate people give me purpose. Also I'm not an MRA if you were wondering, I couldn't care less about that, they're boring people too, reciting the same crap over and over again."

She didn't really know what to say. They sat in silence for a few moments before she spoke. "So you troll to bring out passion and people?"

"That's usually the goal. Everyone thinks trolls just want to give you mean comments just to make you feel bad, but that's not the case. We want you to explain to us why we could possibly be wrong. It's boring when people just say 'SHUT UP TROLL'. It's better when people give responses like yours. Very rarely do people do that though." he explained to her.

"That's because they are afraid of feeding the troll." she told him.

"Well that's silly. I can feed myself. I have a dozen cheetoh bags in the kitchen." he laughed.

"Is Cheesepuff Mike your real name?" she asked.

"No, but you can call me that. It's my preferred handle." he told her.

"Hey Nac! Are you alright in there?" Austin called out.

"Uh oh, my friends getting worried." she told Mike before calling out to her friend. "Yeah! Everything is fine, I'll be finished up in a minute!" she called out to him.

"Ok!" he called out. "Hurry up, I don't wanna worry my parents!"

Nac turned to Cheesepuff Mike. "Hey, I have to go, but know that if you want me to explain my passions to you, you don't need to troll me"

"I can't guarantee I won't troll you." he laughed.

"I have to go now." she got up and brushed herself off.

"Wait!" he grabbed her hand.

"What?" she asked.

He pulled out his phone. "I want your skype."

"Oh" she blushed.

He handed her his phone and she typed her username into it. She handed it back to him.

"When you go home you'll see a request from me. I'll be under the name Cheesepuff Mike." he told her.

"Okay" she nodded before going to join Austin outside.

"Wait" he grabbed her hand again.

"Yes?" she turned around annoyed.

"Uhh..." he looked at her before quickly looking away to hide a blush coming over his face. "Nevermind..."

Nac grinned and got closer to him. "I like you too and I will come visit you more often" she told him before giving him a kiss on the cheek and running off.

Blushing a bright shade of red, he rubbed his cheek as he watched her run off to join her friend.

"How did it go?" Austin asked as she ran up to him.

"Pretty good. He's not so mean after all." she smiled.

"Oh that's good! Did you get some information for the website?" he asked.

"Nah, but this definitely wasn't a wasted trip!" she confessed.

"Well that's good, but now we really need to get going back!" Austin reminded her.

"Yeah, let's go!" Nac nodded as she followed Austin out of the backyard and onto the street. She looked back at the house, having more of a sentimental feeling toward it rather than a nervous one. She has a feeling she'd be visiting that house a lot more often.


End file.
